I wish I could just wake up. Break out. I feel stuck in a cycle of madness. A cycle of thinking and being that produces not what I want but what I've been taught I deserve, which is so little.
I want so much more for myself than the person(s) I love can provide.
I want abundance. I want majesty. I want clarity. And I want security.
I'm tired of accepting so little and trying to satisfy myself with your deficiencies.
I want love. I want peace. I want prosperity.
I am a beautiful person, honest and good, and I deserve to people who honour and respect me in my life.
I feel so unappreciated, undervalued and unloved sometimes. I know its because I've let negative sentiments persist in my heart to create such experiences, but I want something else now.
I've been holding on to the idea of love and it's transformative power. But sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes people don't learn, don't change, don't see. And sometimes they simply don't care to do whats right. What is loving.
I trust that the Universe will set things right in all of our lives. I know I will come to find all that I seek. I just don't know when.
Moon
20130622
20130205
20121217
20120915
Today Mark read me my horoscope in NOW Magazine...
...Although I don't really believe in horoscopes, I was inspired by the proposed self-inventory. Here are my responses. Enjoy! Happy Rosh Hashana!
1. What would you like to leave behind from the past 12 months?
I would like to leave everything from the past behind and ground myself in the present moment as much as I can. I would like to leave behind all anger, fear, anxiety, insecurity, doubt, sadness, pain, resentment and negative thoughts that have haunted me in the past 12 months.
2. What has prevented you from living up to your highest standards and being your very best self?
Myself. My negative thoughts and my material comforts and attachments.
3. What would you love to bring with you into the next 12 months?
Love, positivity, forgiveness and compassion. Trust in the present moment and faith in the Universe and God.
4. Who served as a teacher for you in the past year?
I guess the most significant teacher would be Louise Hay, and her ideas about the power of thought.
5.Were you a teacher for anyone?
I tried to be. Especially to my little friend Alex.
6. How will you go about forgiving?
Without prejudice, hopefully!
Moon
20120731
Self Acceptance
The journey to self acceptance and self love is an arduous one. The greatest struggle in my life has been coming to terms with who I am right here, right now, and completely loving that person. It's hard to be okay with yourself when there are so many people and systems in place that tell you that you should be something other than what you are in order to feel okay. But it's more important than anything to know that the universe makes no mistakes, and were created for a purpose. The universe is not complete without you. We are as we are meant to be and things could not be otherwise.
Today I was feeling insecure, and I found surety in the words of Tyrion Lannister, a character from George R.R. Martin's novel and television series A Song of Ice and Fire/ A Game of Thrones.
“Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
Remember that you were created in love and light, and there you shall always remain. You are the love and joy of the universe. Never forget.
Moon
“Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
Remember that you were created in love and light, and there you shall always remain. You are the love and joy of the universe. Never forget.
Moon
20120528
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